In an extraordinary turn of events, world peace has been achieved, global warming has been reversed and all celebrities have taken vows of poverty, sobriety and chastity. In other words, there is absolutely nothing to report on the news. Reporters are desperate and are resorting to interviewing anyone and everyone in an attempt to find a story. Protect your dignity with pies, the natural enemy of the newscaster. Fend them off by throwing pies and distract them by collecting tabloid grenades. No reporter can resist a good tabloid story.