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Hey im Jake..i hav my own lil world its called JAKEYLAND..b****es i kno ur jelous lol jk...if u wanna join my colony messge me..
| Username : | Xxscared4lifexX |
| First Name : | jake |
| Gender: | M |
| Country: | SV |
| Member Since : | 05 Aug, 2009 |
05 Oct, 2009
Bye Bye
Pinch Poke You're gonna choke Fade like smoke That's all she wrote Ding Dong You are wrong A line in song Say so long. Byebye
30 Sep, 2009
My Razorblade Romance
There's a pain one that many mistake. they believe you're wrong if you think it's a release. hate me, judge me it doesnt hurt me and when it does i drive it away and cry those red tears on my wrist. there are one to many cuts to count some only i can see some still bleed call me crazy - it's my release. there's this thing called a razor. mine's not the normal shape mine i got out of an exact-o knife blade Two years ago and three days. i remember that night so clearly i don't know why i did it i just put it to my thumb and dragged hard and quick till i reached my elbow. I watched the blood fall and exhale in relief all my pain had been driven away. by one cut on my wrist i was free my emotions gone, pain dead but it didn't last i was loveless, having a razorblade romance, i wanted something more from it my release lasted only a minute then i would have to cut again. it became deeper and deeper till it wasnt enough and i found my mom's lighter and lit my skin up. i didn't like myself much. I was tangled in a web of lies hiding my skin, pretending because I knew it was wrong but I continued, I played the razorblade game. This is the last verse of the poem, one last final blow the burns and cuts didn't hurt enough, weren't final enough i didn't believe I was suicidal , until the day before last when I counted up all the reasons I had for death. I counted my scars and burns - each one holds a different memory, a different reason to hate myself. one hundred and forty two cuts, sixty-five burns. add that all up and what do you get? death.
30 Sep, 2009
About Love
Gravity is not responsible for the people to fall in love. It just happens. And when it does happen, don't wait for right time to express, Because right time is when you heart beats faster. If you love someone...don't wait for tomorrow, Or for the other person To make the move agreed Tomorrow never dies But also remember, tomorrow never comes, So life is today
30 Sep, 2009
Hidden Tears
The taste of bitter tears Softly roll off my lip They cascade down my cheeks And moisten up my neck I lay in my bed Soaking in my own tears I try to muffle the escaping cries I can’t let anyone hear I mask these tears during the day With a plastered on smile And a happy little wave I pretend to laugh at your stupid jokes I fake my attitude It’s all just a hoax This all changes when I lie down to bed I lay on my mattress and nustle my head I bury my face in my tear stained pillow Letting out the cries, billow by billow I must wear a convincing mask ‘Cause you don’t seem to care You don’t see the real me A passing glance you don’t even spare I wish that someone would notice And break down my guarded piers Please hear what I’m not saying Unspoken hidden tears
30 Sep, 2009
So Much to Say
I still love you, I always have, And always will. I'm no good at letting go. I still wanna be with you, But you've kept me on hold. I've been by your side for much too long. So I thought I should move on, I thought I could be strong. But once you were gone, I found it hard to even find reason. Reason to wake up, Reason to live, Reason to keep breathing, Reason to give, This life another chance, This world another glance, From a different point of view, But I still only saw you. I never wanted to say those things i did, But I was tired of getting hurt. I waited for only disappointment. You knew it wouldn't work. Did you like giving me false hopes? Your words are the ropes, That hang me high off the ground. The choking lies that wrap around, My throat so tightly, The sight unsightly. Hanging breathlessly, Swaying lifelessly, Forever endlessly.
30 Sep, 2009
Being Hurt Again...
Why must all the good that happens be taken away with something bad??? Why hope for something good to happen if something bad will come to ruin it sooner or later... I can't keep hoping for something good to happen only to be let down And my heart to be broken over and over again. But then again you cant brake something that is already broken All you can do is make the pieces smaller
27 Sep, 2009
When I Told You...
When I told you That I loved you And will always love you I meant what I said When I told you That I couldn't lose you No matter what happened I meant what I said So even though We aren't together anymore Doesn't mean I take back what I said I meant what I said Instead of breaking down in tears now Every time I talk to you Every time I think about you Every time I see you I am happier than ever Having you Making an effort to be my friend again Makes me smile once more Cuz it means you don't wanna lose me either.
25 Sep, 2009
Broken Inside
Find. found. but still lost who do you see in the mirror? do you see what i see? losing Faith I walk alone trying to fight my way through life but still the scars follow scared to smile because my heart is crying the angel that once guided me lost me! I keep running but I don't know which way I’m going? I’m losing it I’m finding it I’m falling behind I’m like a shattered window broken inside!
24 Sep, 2009
Dying for You
Days they come and nights they go Days are long and nights are cold I think of you in your long black dress And all the pain that I possess I want to be with you Feed with you Bleed with you And live your nightmare Right by your side Everything you have shown to me Maybe beyond this nightmare is a dream I scream in silence The violence it scares me But on the inside I know that it prepares me For what’s ahead… Drowning in your sorrow Waiting for your tomorrow Not living for myself I’m merely dying for you And everything that you do Is new to me Why can’t you be… My gentle seed So pure and so non- existent Nothing’s different, stay the same In this place of hate I will remain.
24 Sep, 2009
My Feelings...
Have you ever had that feeling? Like no one understands you? And no matter what you do.. No matter how many smiles you show people, You're hurting inside...? And it's apparent to others, But they just don't like to bring it up? No matter what I do.. I feel like that... I feel like there's no place in this world for me... All these people who try to help me.. All the things I’ve tried... I'm still all alone in a room full of people... In the mall, I feel like I’m being stared at... Wherever I go I feel like I have no reason at all to be happy, It's that feeling where you get annoyed at people for no reason... You snap on people all the time... You feel cold inside all the time.. You make fun of people just to make yourself feel better... And when you finally realize what you're doing.. It's too late.. You've already ruined your life.. Your friends are mad at you b/c they just don't understand... And you can't talk to anyone about it.... Only b/c you feel like they'll think you're psycho... Or worse... Suicidal! I've been feeling like that! It's kinda a feeling you can't get rid of... You feel like you have a dark cloud following you everywhere you go.. When people look at you they frown... It seems like you'll never be happy! And these feelings that haunt me ever so much.. Are the same feelings that haunted my cousin for a while... Finally, she gave up... Thinking like this is the reason my cousin is in the ground... But... I can't get rid of it.. So maybe.. Just maybe, I belong right on side of her...?
24 Sep, 2009
My Lifes Changed
I read over, my poems Wow!, how my life's changed. Back when I started. My heart, had departed. Broken, lost soul. No sign, of a goal. After a while, I got sick of the zone. Broken hearted, all alone. Wanted to write, about something else. Put this sad s***, on the shelf. I found, for a time. I'd keep slipping, back in. Despite trying to write, other things. Five weeks on. Since I've been, writing. My life, has become. Much more, exciting. Letting go, of the past.. Has been, an enjoyable task. Thanks to writing. I hope, it lasts
24 Sep, 2009
As Time Passes
As time passes I grow weaker. From the minute I met you, To the moment I left you, Time was nothing to matter. But as days, weeks, months pass -- I come weaker as you stronger; Time is but the past. But now I know what it was -- That makes me miss you so. I loved you, But didn't tell you
24 Sep, 2009
Forever Lost...
You remind me of.. Petals of a Dying Rose. in need of love to quench your thirst Love you'll never know You remind me of.. A Puzzle with a Missing piece. Hidden in a dusty,box as if you were deceased You remind me of.. A Child without A Mother. Sobbing endlessly hoping to find eachother You remind me of.. A Puppy without A Bone. hungry for attention instead you stand alone You remind me of.. The person I dedicate this to. You lost your loved ones by pushing them away You kept to yourself Every minute of the day They showed you love never once did you care You chose to be alone.. nothing ever compared... Now you ask.... why am I alone? the answer is You chose never to return home...
24 Sep, 2009
Unspoken
This isolation I have come to meet Too often separates me from my life It tears away the last of my known strife To see the peaceful creatures man still beats Leaves me in fear of ones I cannot greet My broken wings still grasp onto this knife How desperately I wish to find relief Man says the things he kills are meant to eat But in my fear it seems I’m known to hide I shroud myself only to feel alone Though I feel sick I know I must stay strong The rules of man I can’t seem to abide If I can’t speak my soul shall not be known And so I wait the day Earth proves man wrong
19 Sep, 2009
Nightt [:
Nightt Jake ^_^ Heehee lovee you... Hacked: By Sabrina ♥
19 Sep, 2009
xD
heyy Thiss Sabrina you justt been hacked :D ^_^ ♥ sept.19 2009 at 12:34am :D
19 Sep, 2009
I Can Never Have You
I know that I will never have you. I know that we will never be. The pain and the sorrow, the love of tomorrow. The memories of me and you, the days that I am feeling blue. I know that I love you, but you don't feel the same way. You ask if I’m alright, I tell you I’m ok. I call you on the phone with tears falling down my face, You have a special spot in my heart that I will never replace. All I can think about is all the pain; I’m surprised I’m still sane. I’m surprised that I’m still alive, after all that you put me through. After everything u knew. You knew that I still loved you, but all you talked about was her. You knew the pain you caused me when you looked into my eyes. Everytime I go home I break down and cry. Everytime I lay down in bed I cry myself to sleep. Everytime I go in the bathroom I cut myself deep. I go through hell knowing I can never have you.
19 Sep, 2009
Life Without Her
It seems like I have known her for ever but I haven’t I will always love her But I don’t know if she knows that I can’t always trust her but I don’t want to loose her She is like a sister to me And I don’t want to loose her She is the only girl that I have ever trusted And I love her She has always been there for me but when we get in fights it feels like she will hate me forever I will never find someone like her Yeah we have our flaws but I don’t care That is what real relationships are like There not perfect I really don’t want to loose her She thinks I always try to steal the guys that she likes But it’s not my fault, it just happens She is beautiful and she just hides it She is smart and she knows it She loves me and she can’t help it I hope we will know each other forever I hope I won’t loose her like I lost Taira A few months ago it was 7 years that I haven’t seen her And it feels like a weight has been lifted from me, now that I know that she remembers me (Taira) Now I can sleep peacefully Hopefully I will see her soon I love them and I will never forget about them I can’t stand to loose her!!
19 Sep, 2009
Don't Let Me Go
You say you want me in your life Won’t ever let me go Our friendship means so much to you You promise to hold on Then trials come you fear the worst And falter at the start Not even fighting for your friend You throw away my heart It’s easy to keep easy friends Even easier to know That if your friend don’t fight or fuss Your friendship feelings grow But the first time trouble comes your way Do you fight for what it’s worth? No, silence becomes your answer now Causing me such hurt You’re failing with our friendship I keep trying, don’t know why Hoping one day against all odds My true best friend I'll find I will never let you go To me you’re my best friend But trust me that If you don't try My love for you could end
19 Sep, 2009
la la la la
Sometimes I just Wonder Why Do I Feel Sad Whenever I Think of U And I Realized That The Only Time I'm Smiling Is Whenever I Believed I Still Love U
18 Sep, 2009
My Life
My life is almost over The end is drawing near The sound of angel wings I faintly now can hear My breath is getting weaker My heart is beating slow I hear the Master whisper "My child its time to go" I linger with my family I watch them as they cry I'm sorry for their suffering As I bid this world good-bye I'm starting on a journey And soon it'll be complete I'm crossing Jordan's river I'll stop at Jesus' feet I'll walk the streets of Heaven The joy of love I'll share I'll never know a heartache No more pain I'll have to bear I'll wait for my dear fancily In this land of pure delight And when their journey's starting I'll guide them on their flight.
18 Sep, 2009
Where I Stand
Shadows feel an empty home Darkness lurks in every corner Nothing... A nothing Stands in the middle of it all I scream, for fear fills me I'm blind, the darkness consumes me Noway to escape the terrible horror Noway to hide from the unbearable pain The loud cries of the forgotten The heart wrenching shriek of the fallen And I... I stand in the in the heart of it all For I... I am the reason it exist The birth giver, Pain seeker, Dream killer... Me... I've ruined my life Decapitated my future. Cut throat, Quick, fast, and in a hurry I've lost all my will, my want... drive So I suffer now Here in the shadows Here in the dark Nothing... A nothing Me
18 Sep, 2009
Feel Like Dying
I feel like dying. You know why? What’s the point in living? Everything that happens to me turns spoiled. Boyfriend cheats, close family members dying, best friends betraying you, whatever. It all goes wrong. So what’s the point in living. I can’t take it anymore! Why don’t I just end it now and I want have to worry about tomorrow
17 Sep, 2009
bye
nite ppl byez twin it was nice of u to hack my profile
17 Sep, 2009
on
its on HEARTLESS EMO profile ill juss start using that profile it shows my email
17 Sep, 2009
then
then whats ur email
17 Sep, 2009
my
my password i gave u for my profile **Scene_King** its the same password
17 Sep, 2009
confused
omg im confused lol
17 Sep, 2009
ok
whats ur email and password i put my email up but my password is the same as my other profile **Scene_King**
17 Sep, 2009
heart
HEARTLESS EMO
17 Sep, 2009
wich one
wich one
17 Sep, 2009
but
if u want you can get on my other profile
17 Sep, 2009
ok damn
ok fine
17 Sep, 2009
if you
if you dont stop messagin kylee ill change ur password and ur email
17 Sep, 2009
ok lol
ok
17 Sep, 2009
idk
i dont lke it anymore and stop messaging Kylee back
17 Sep, 2009
why
why
17 Sep, 2009
idk
cuz i dont want to use my other profile
17 Sep, 2009
wat
wat are we going to do
17 Sep, 2009
ik
ikr
17 Sep, 2009
wtf
dat weird
17 Sep, 2009
kk
dammit now it wont let me on my profile
17 Sep, 2009
twin read
twin read this did u change my password on my profile cuz i cant get on
17 Sep, 2009
LMAO
hey its Skittles i hacked my twins profile woot woot"
17 Sep, 2009
Demon's and Angels
Demon’s hurt you angels' make you happy but is it not the other way around Angels bring pain that once was love turns into hate, envy and murder Demon’s are there for us always there to lend a hand, while angels mock or mortal hearts Don’t expect sorrow to turn positive think why are we able to love
16 Sep, 2009
Death Is What I Want
If I could be dead Then I wouldn’t be at this stage I don’t want to live no more I have had enough of this crap I hate this world I hate myself If I could have any thing in life I would like to have death I have had enough Seriously had enough I had one bad day at school Now it is coming back to bite me on the b*** I always seem to make the fatal mistakes It doesn’t matter about all that has happened to me This world is just totally upside down Please god I am trying my best And I feel as though you are throwing it all back at me Is it because you think I have not learned my lesson Please I believe I have I am trying really trying I do not want to hurt myself no more I want to be normal Normal like the rest of the world What is it that I have to do To prove to you that I can be better That I am trying Do you really exist in this world Or are you just a piece of book Please give me a sign A sign to help me This is really hard Too hard for my liking I am sorry for all I have done For all that I have sinned All I ask for is for you to be my lord Forgive all my sins and let me live Let me live to the best of my ability Or maybe I should be dead when I am 18 18 is my limit god Otherwise I will die DIE means death I don’t want to live if this is going to be my future I don’t want to grow up Things should be better before I turn 18 18 is DEATH if it does not get better I have been through so much When I was 4 till 9 I was repeatedly rapid and s**ually abused by Jade When I was 9 till 11 it was uncle dough in whom s**ually abused me I tried to commit suicide but a friend court me Please must I keep going? Is it not visible that I do not want to live All good has turned to evil I have had enough This is where it will end I will go to hell And there is nothing you can do about it’ But in this poem I have tried to prove That I have had enough I don’t need to go t
16 Sep, 2009
Secret Smile
Everything seems fine On the tough outer shell Inside I am mangled The one thing that brightens your day And cages mine Is the secret smile lit upon my face The ache in my heart has got to stop I am confused I am broken I am going through life in a daze Every way I turn is a dead end All I can do is smile at the little moments that make sense This is come to a halt The fog is too thick The road ahead is uncertain I am numb I am falling I can't see a thing I close my eyes All is frozen But I smile Your voice, it lingers In every corner of my mind I laughed I relaxed I fell into you You knocked I slammed the door But I smile I look into your eyes And see nothing of what used to be Your eyes Like well guarded doors They ignore me They awaken me They give me reason They are an uncharted place I long for the bond But I hid my intentions And I smile You lead me down the wrong road I want to get off I begged you to understand You said yes A stranger said no I exploded You walked away You did as you were told But I smile The pressure, it is too much The fact that your inflicting it Makes it worse I am going deeper I can't see the surface I am drowning in my pain A light Hope Oh wait, it's you But I smile Lost in a different time This body doesn't suite me This heart so fragile Not yet cared for love Familiarity All is lost But I smile Closer and closer Faint back to start Testing limits Setting boundaries Creeping closer Propelled by longing Yet so far way Restrained by fear But I smile My past, it follows In the darkest of alleys Tainting my soul Making me dirty I am unforgiven I am only human Time not caught up I am... But I smile Come, follow Down a foreign ally Dark and untraveled I run You chase Oblivious of my intentions Fork Which way Undecided I lose the sound
16 Sep, 2009
Sacrifice
When people look at me They think; Pills, knives, razor blades, And my weekly meeting with the shrink When people see me The know; Suicide Because nothing else shows. When people question me The claim to understand; When in all reality They don't even give a damn. When people talk about me They talk depression But they don't know It's my own obsession. When people think of my They think I don't want life But I don't think of it as suicide I think of it as my sacrifice
15 Sep, 2009
Silent Love
Every time my eyes meet her the words just die inside me the fear appears out of nowhwere I feel like the eye which cannot see I love her to death but I cannot confess she's the one I've dreamed about day and night and on the moon I had drawn her face and since then the nights became so bright I'm drowning in the silence of my feeling the silence that kills my heart perhaps she has been dreaming about me , and perhaps she has not
14 Sep, 2009
Broken Into Pieces
Falling into a bliss of eternal darkness, I feel nothing but pure pain. My shattered heart is in pieces, my soul has been slain. This is another casualty in my world, for I cannot dull the ache. As the remains gets crushed and crushed, now its nothing to lose, nothing to stake. Damage is transforming to hatred, though I must go on in the world. Yet I must draw back, my love can't be killed again by sword. I look in the mirror, I see myself in a new state of mind. Dead. Inside is nothing but shadows, where a heart once lied. In my sleep I must dream, but I fall into nothing for I've died. Yet all I do is look above, I see stars, one in which I want to be. Free. Free of pain, hatred, sorrow, gloom, death. And so I go on through life, but within, I cannot stop the pain.
14 Sep, 2009
Final Breath
Suicide will never die, you will but it won' t Suicide works well with your wrist, so don't let it Suicide never used to be me, but now it is. So stop your weeping and know this was the best thing for me It was my time to go, your time to set me free I rush to the bathroom and lock the door I can't stand the pain; I can't stand it anymore. The blood flowed like a river as I took a razor to my wrist I would have made preparations, said good-byes but, I doubt I'll be missed It became so cold as everything went black for the first time, I felt free because I knew there was no going back And I feel peace, and freedom, as the blade doth come to rest. Without pain, I shudder, as I spend my final breath.
14 Sep, 2009
Scars Head To Toes
The days pass I learn to fake my happiness I learn to hide the way I feel I bottle all my feelings inside Then I will explode Picking up a blade or using my nails I drag it across my skin Making a wound A wound that is deep It bleeds and bleeds I have learnt to pray But find it doesn't help I rather harm myself I rather be dead Away from this world The world I so hate I have hated life for six years Soon I will not live no more I will hide, and kill myself One night when no one is around I will die, with out friends and family to know They would never have imagined it It to be to kill myself Well it will soon be true Before your eyes and mine own You will look at a cold dead body laying in her bed Looking nice and pretty But you will see the scars I will leave behind The scars that is like a map over my body Starting from head to toes
14 Sep, 2009
Poison Rose
Poisoned roses are like broken Hearts You touch a there it hurts And bleeds When your heart is broken you get an inter pain Emotional pain And your heart bleeds Poisoned roses make you Dizzy Broken hearts make you Cry When the peddles fall you fall as well. When your tears drop so do you and I The poison reacts fast Broken hearts work slow The bigger the rose more the Poison Stronger the love more the Pain Passionate poison roses Are death At first site Or love at another Poison roses feed on your Heart You cry out in Pain, Your heart would bleed Your love is dead From poison roses To end it all You take a fall
14 Sep, 2009
Bruises Fading
You never knew the shame You left it behind But it came back to me When it should have gone to you I’m sick of her, I’m sick of you I can’t come second to her anymore I just can’t take it I’m not going t make it The bruises are fading But the memory can't I'll say my good-byes But should I jump? Or just cut deeper? I’m not sure what I’m doing But I’ve got to do something I can’t stand by silently I can’t and I won’t
14 Sep, 2009
own me!!!
Own a part of me 1 person could have 2. legs - voice - Cara Head - Lips -jomo Hair - Jelly Eyes -Jelly Heart -Cara Smile - jomo Tummy -jomo Di ck-Jade ownz me body pleaze
10 Sep, 2009
What Life is Like For Me
Can you hear? Can you see? What this life has done to me? Never to be loved.. Never to trust... My mother has done enough.. To love, To hate.. Is words I don't like to say.. Mother says I love you.. But all I can think is I hate you.. What you did was not good.. But yet you still never understood.. You never cared about my life.. But yet you still keep me around.. Why? You keep me around for the sake of others? Am I your little slave? When you come home late at night do i clean up the mess you made? Im worth nothing to you so why do you keep me? Am I suppose to feel happy? Am I suppose to feel glade? I want to be free from her.. I want to feel love.. But I cannot feel a single thing No matter how hard I try... Do you see what you did to me mother?!? Do you not see? The way I am is because of what you did To me! I want to die.. I don't love life.. I am not free to do what i Please... Can you set me free? Can I finally be free? To feel something other than Hate and rage? Can I finally feel what could Have been?should have Been? Something that is so important to me Can't I be set free? Yes,no? Maybe...
08 Sep, 2009
Dying Inside
I'm dying inside I have nothing left I've lost all focus I can't breathe anymore I'm out of control God I can't do this My heart is heavy I want to cry everyday I say I don't care Knowing that it's killing me My life again is falling Becoming a black hole of nothing Even writing is painful But they just understand I'm hurting I'm sad And I don't know why I feel empty Crying out for help What's happening to me? I can't seem to focus Like a part of me is missing I feel like I’ve lost something Something that used to push me Made me want to live But it's gone now I've lost it somehow The person I once was has gone... Died And all that’s left is an empty shell An empty shell of a person Why is this happening I'm dying inside Crying inside Breaking down inside I wanna die And I don't know why
07 Sep, 2009
Silver Rose
The nights are dark The moon seems empty Even the silver clouds seem lifeless My tears fall softly off my face and into the pool Of silver at my feet. My heart shatters into many pieces Each scattered across the forest floor My blood seeping into the ground Without color, without life she dies Pale white skin, out shinned with the deep green eyes that still shine after death Her small pale hand stretched out as if she tried to reach out before death Small fingers clasping something only her heart knows Within her hand is a small silver locket She cried as he gave it to her Only knowing he never loved her This wasn’t a sign of love Only a sign of denial A silver rose, shattered beneath her tears Silence be falls the forest as she falls softly onto the ground The locket clasped in her hand His footsteps swallowed by the earth She whispers good bye.
03 Sep, 2009
Final Good-bye
You of all people, nobody would have thought. You were so young, and full of life. This is the, final good-bye. Everyone loved you... as, everyone will miss you... this is our, parting note. Everybody loved, and always will love you. THIS... is our, final good-bye.
02 Sep, 2009
Fading Love
Broken and bleeding Heart still crying for her To live in such agony A fate worse than death A fate worse than Hell Undying sorrow The chances I had The chances I lost She will never be mine She f*cking hates me Soul screaming for her Mind wanting not to see her My body suffering I am being tortured My tears dropping This depression sets in My knife in hand My palms raining sweat I take my life My last tear falls to her She won't care She f*cking hates me!
02 Sep, 2009
α ρσ?? ƒσ? ¢α?α
All I need is you, With every breath I take, I think about you, As I lay here awake, Only thing on my mind is you, They said you were a mistake, But I still think about you, As I drown myself in the lake, I'm still thinking of you, In all these activities I partake, There all because of you, Here comes and earthquake, Broken in two I'm thinking of you, Now please take the stake, On my head put a picture of you, So They all know your the last thing going through my head...
30 Aug, 2009
The Broken Path
The snow continues its fall, as his steps continue on. The crimson red breaking the white fall, as his steps continue on. The path is covered with snow, the white covering the falls. But no matter how deep the hole, his heart continues its call. How long must I wander, to seek what I cannot find. To wander through the dark, in the hopes of finding the other. Even when I feel this pain, why do others bring theirs to me? And for what purpose? Do they not see my own? But it is through helping others, my own ceases for a little while. The crimson ceases its flow, and I dare show a smile. A few see through the smile, and realize how empty it is. Bereft of the emotion that is felt, because of the pain that was dealt. But the steps continue to fall, the broken path continues on. For if he stops now, he may not continue on. Bullets fly, and mortars fall. But through it all, he knows he cannot fall. For if he does now, he would cause others sadness. A brief look into his mind, into what he has always felt. He lacks a feeling, one that is said to make the world turn. But is he better off without it? Or just blinding himself, to not feel the pain of running? The falls remind him of the feeling, that which his heart lacks. The reason for its calling, and why he is continually falling. But he doesn’t trust others now, because of the pain they dealt. How can he move past, the pain he has always felt? Can she help heal them? So that the red no longer falls? Or are his ears deceiving him, fooling him into following a false call? Is his mind the one longing? Or is his heart the one calling? Calling for the missing half, completely bereft of the emotion. Oh how his arms ache, with the emotion of emptiness. How the feeling of loneliness, creeps down through his entire core. Yet he continues through the storm, the white continues its
30 Aug, 2009
12 Questions
Why must I give in to your pressure? A true friend would leave it alone. Why do I have to be your type of dresser? When we come from different homes. Why must I feel discouraged? When it's you that is ashamed. Why do I need indurence? When it's you that can't handle the game. Why do I need to be fair? When I'm the one getting cheated. And Why am I suppose to s*** it up? When I'm the one being mistreated. Why must I lower my standards? To find the one for me. Why lower them for wants? Instead of keeping them for needs. Why question my dedication? When I'm the only one left. You threw the rest away in desperation. But I handled it the best. So why am I asking these questions? That's a good question you see. I'm wondering why I should still be your friend? What good have you done for me?
30 Aug, 2009
Roses
There's thorns in my hand There's blood running down my arm The blood is like my tears There's holes in my heart Roses are red Roses are black Just like my soul I lick my pale lips I wipe my water filled eyes I lie down and press that blade to my lips As I slice away All that blood is running down my neck And it stained my beautiful white dress I moved my glossy black hair out of my face Then I put that same blade to my throat and I watched my dead cold body lie there as I Float away All that is left is a note and to roses A red rose And a black rose.
30 Aug, 2009
Me without You
Whats wrong with me? Whats wrong with you? We seem to be lost at sea What happened to us? Our hearts used to beat as one... Or so it seemed? What do you mean the problem isn't you? Your the one that left,alone, without me. What the hell happened to us. Please tell me why you left me all alone I need to know what I did so wrong Tell me now, I don't understand Why you left me so suddenly? I don't like this Not seeing you in my heart Its like part of me is gone And that part of me is you.
30 Aug, 2009
So Lonely
I'm so lonely Life is so hard to live I just want to be loved Cause I got so much love to give I feel broken Like I want to give up I don't understand Why it's so hard to find love I just want a girl to hold One to kiss And comfort when she's cold I'll take care of her i swear Too bad no one is there.. My heart is breaking My hands are shaking My life has no meaning And I'm barely breathing I just wish I was dead This pain is too much to bare I just want someone to love I just want someone to care
30 Aug, 2009
Why Can't I Forget?
I remember that dazzling smile, I remember that joyful laugh, I remember those brilliant eyes, And I wish those memories weren't of the past. I remember you holding me, I remember you loving me, I remember you kissing me, And how I wish those things would last. I remember you telling me goodbye, I remember those words that made me cry, I remember those memories that make me want to die, And I wish those words would fade away.
28 Aug, 2009
My Emo Poem
You diss I slit my wrist When you cause me pain I slit the left vain You break my heart That’s where it starts When you pretend To care Well how do you dare It’s just not fair So I remain So damn silent See my stain It was very violent I’m just a shadow A part of the past A part that could never last My trickling blood Is dripping fast I hear a thud I just lie and stare I cry And wonder why Why should I be the one to go Oh, because I’m emo…
28 Aug, 2009
Endless
Endless, unbidden My pain my sorrow I am invisible, alone unseen never heard I have none but you……help I continue on not living, not really I watch the world through a vale Here I am hidden, trapped I dream, of lives juice flowing from my wrist Of seeing a world that sees me Of a golden rope that measures a person life I see you, cut the rope So short I see you, loop the end I see a world that I can touch That I can live not just exist I see myself, every night different Every night the same I see my eyes bright silver and like the moon I see them wane I wake I scream I’m here hidden away within this bubble Entwined in this sick game You cannot see these chains, locked You cannot see this cage Day to day from paper to iron, you could have helped Cut the paper chain but now it is iron and I am lost, trapped, entwined I look in the mirror I see my eyes bright silver and like the moon I see them wane.
28 Aug, 2009
Toxic love
Toxic love At first I wasn’t sure what to think of us And it seemed as though you did so I took a chance And I thought well maybe he’s not like the rest And that I cannot make him pay for the hurt and pain that others have left me So with thought in mind I tried to make it work At first everything was cool It was so funny because even though I was still so unsure About our relationship he gave this reassurance that was like watching the sunset on a Sunday I felt like I could tell him anything and everything knowing that he would never tell another soul Everything seemed to be going great but it soon all came to an end He had always seemed a little bit jealous and insecure about losing me to someone else But he never really started to flip out and become some what controlling until now I was always being accused of wanting to be with someone else or lying about everything In his opinion everything that was going wrong in the relationship was my fault I sit here and think now and I’m like how can it be my fault when I all did was sit home And wait for your calls but every time I called you said you were busy I did everything to try to make you happy but come to find out you were the one creeping all along Blaming me to try and cover your tracks and make yourself feel better Even though it hurt me I still stayed by your side But when you hit me it was time to let go Can you even imagine all the pain I felt inside? But even through all that I still love you Even though you’re just contributing to the hurt and pain that others have made me feel inside At first I wasn’t sure what to think of us But now I do and you don’t I see that you treated me that way because of the anger and hurt and pain that she left you inside And that you never let go of her even though she broke your heart the way you broke mine And I see that deep down inside you still love her just like I still love you I now know that deep down inside
28 Aug, 2009
Find Your True Love
I read a lot of these love poems mostly written by girls. And I realized a lot can change in just a matter of couple days. Boys can cheat and also dump you and you girls Can be left stranded on your big crazy mind islands in women world. And I seem to think you girls on crazy ship stuck at sea When another as*hole just like the other one Who cheated on you in the first place comes by and picks you up And "brings light to your eyes". Sorry to inform you girls but that light you seeing is the sun. And the only reason you see it is because the as*hole moved is big inflated head. I'm not saying all men are like that. But you have to go through a lot a guys before you find "him". And I’m getting tired of all this crybaby sh*t with girls like, Booooo...woooo, shut up and go find your true love.
28 Aug, 2009
Me and You
Please don’t close your eyes to what I see For I see you and me Your touch sends me insane It makes me want to say your name Man I swear this is not a game I love you so deep I’m ashamed I know this is wrong and I should move on But the love I feel won’t be gone I try and I try to sway But the love I have won’t go away As I write this tears are forming in my eyes Boy I hope I don’t start to cry For all the agony and pain I would love you again just the same How do I recover my heart from such a blow? Man oh man I wish I could know It’s the final act of the show Take a bow and let’s go
26 Aug, 2009
Falling For You
How do you know when you’re falling When everything seems so so real How do you know its love calling It’s just the magical way you feel I feel so warm when I’m around you The sparkle in your eyes they hypnotize Feel so right I’m finally having fun now When its time to leave You wouldn’t say goodbye I don’t think so I think I’m falling for you But I’m in denial I know I’m scared but it’s true I like it alot How do you know your not just dreaming When it feels just too good to be real How do you know your bubble wont burst And I won’t be just left hanging there up in the air Love is a thing I have always wanted to have
22 Aug, 2009
Without You
Without you I am nothing In this world All alone Without you I am nothing No rest, no peace No home Without you I am nothing A hand Without an arm Without you I am nothing No refuge, Not safe from harm Without you I am nothing O, blessed community Without Her We are nothing Her grace has Set us free...
22 Aug, 2009
+*+Thinking Of You+*+
Sitting here... Nothing to do... Trying to think of something... But I keep thinking of you... Listening to my music... There's nothing else I can do... I'm still mad at my Toonie... But my mind is still on you... That evil Toonie hurt me... I don't understand how... It made my finger bleed... I wish you were here now... You'd make me feel better... You'd make me smile... I haven't seen you... For quite a while... So as I sit here... Nothing to do... I can't help to wonder... If you're thinking of me too
21 Aug, 2009
2nd Chances
Why is everything happening to me. Slash! What did I do. Slash! Who’s mistakes am I paying for. Slash! Staring at my arm while the blood dripped from my wrist as I dropped the razor letting it hit the floor. Oh no what did I do I’ve never cut that hard before. Shit the blood won’t stop as I realized the drips start turning to streams. Just like the tears from my eyes the room started to get dark and darker, until. Blackout. Now, watching my body as it laid there dying all because I was mad. How do I fix this how do I fix this. I can’t I was dead. Omg, I painted as I opened my eyes tears falling down my cheeks it was jus a dream. I looked down at my wrist and noticed stitches. God gives us all second chances.
21 Aug, 2009
My Last Shout
I'm going now, it's time to leave It's better this way, So please don't grieve. The pain is too much I can see no way out Now loved ones and friends, This is my final shout How could you all, Let me go this way. The loneliness deepens, With each passing day. You knew how I hurt. How the pain grew inside. I told you, you heard me. You saw how I cried. I've seen your lips moving. Your lies so discreet. So caring and loving, Your subtle deceit. Even in embrace My despair is ungiving If I occupy my space Its you that I'm killing Society made me And society kills So f*** the fake happiness Half living on pills If only you had noticed If only you had cared Things may have been different My life could have been spared So this is my last shout One glorious tattoo Raised finger to the world A final F*CK YOU Now look back and wonder What could you have done For your husband, your brother Your mate or your son
21 Aug, 2009
Questions Left Unanswered
What if you told me you loved me? What if I said no? What if you said you'd be there But you never make a show? What if you said you'd die for me But I wouldn't do the same? What if in these last seconds I started screaming your name? What if you told me something? That I didn't need to die? Would you find the f*cker who killed me? Or just sit there and cry? I can't answer these questions But you’re the one who can. So answer these my darling Or let death claim my hand. Oh, but just one last question Before I leave for good. If I'd told you I couldn't love you, Would you have understood?
21 Aug, 2009
My Life
I cut myself, wanting to die, wishing I was never alive. I ask myself "When will death come upon me ?" I don’t wanna face this s*** anymore, My mind is sick, my mind is sore, I can’t take it anymore. I just want to die, I don’t wanna live any more. My life is pointless, my laughs are fake, it’s all a big show. No one cares for me, nobody was there for me. I ask God "Why the f*** you give me life if it’s gonna be this depressing?" Fuck you, Take it back I don’t want it. Won’t take it? Fuck it I’ll end it. But wait…If I die, I would be blackening my love one’s sky, no I won’t die, I won’t end it tonight. I’ll live another day for her, but when we exchange our good-byes and farewells that will be my hello’s to heaven or hell. For death is more pleasant than not to see her face again in that time being.
21 Aug, 2009
Suicidal Letter
Thinking of killing myself ..slittin my wrist just to get my life over. I have no beat, no power...throwing myself from da highest tower, watch the hand on the hour.... its speeding a long last thinking about the past, I’m going down and I’m pretty fast. There’s no need for me to be here... a tear... falls down my eye...I wish I would just die, my whole life was a f*cking lie...I wish I would have tried...more better this is suicidal thoughts and here is my letter.. So many tears down my eyes, its getting wetter..should I keep walking the world or will things get better...god please help me I’m in my knees...I got the knife in my hand, let me know what you see...slowly cutting my wrist, I’m getting so weak..I see myself in the highest peak..blood everywhere like a mad leak...lord take me to heaven I want to be happy forever...and eternity because the world I’m living aint working for me, take my soul and my heart and keep it with thee...
21 Aug, 2009
Lost Friendship....
So many memories from that special person… my days just keep getting worser. I can’t stop thinking about my special person. I got a big empty hole in my heart. Memories when our friendship wasn’t apart. Why did you leave without a good reason? We use to talk alot every day every month every season. I miss you. You was like my sister I used to make you laugh then I used to whisper... things in your ear, tell you how much you mean to me. Thanks for being there when I needed you I pray to god because he’s the only one who can repay you. You changed me alot. I was real negative all the things you said to me I though about it got me so positive. You made me realize my mistakes you always told me I’ll do whatever it takes... to make you better no one was ever like that to me. Your heart means so much to me. I feel real bad for our lost of communication. Maybe we will see each other in a future confrontation. Till then I’ll have you in my heart. Just remember that I will always love you my heart will always be next to yours never apart......
21 Aug, 2009
Dark Angle Of Death
There's darkness everywhere.. Nowhere to go nobody to call family.. Is this death or is this just the way my life became? Can you hear me? Can you see me? I see an angle.. but she's not like the pictures you see.. This angles singing to me... What a lovely song you sing for me but yet so sad.. Will i live once again or be s***ed to hell where I belong? I see no hope in this darkness, I see no light, I see nobody but a thick black cloud.. Will I live through this? no.. The angle's still singing I want to go to her but I know if I do I will be gone for good.. I want to go but I don't want to... Kill me if you wish dark angle but I will not give you my soul.. My soul may be evil, it may be good and pure but I don't want to die.. I don't want to live so dear dark angle of death if you wish free my screaming soul from this nightmare
21 Aug, 2009
My Darkest Moments
I feel so very alone, Lost in the world of men. Surrounded by death, pain and hurt. Nothing I do ebbs the sadness in my soul. The feeling of emptiness eating away at my heart. It grows each day, Consuming my life. My very fiber of being. My friends fade away, Becoming dust in the wind. A distant memory I desperately try to hold on to. Their voices are fading, Their pleas for help only whispers. I stand alone, tears streaming down my face. Yearning for a familiar face. Loved ones lay dead about me. death and decay claiming their helpless souls. I mourn my losses deeply receiving no comfort for my pain. Heart broken I cry in utter anguish. My temptors will is strong It bades me come, offering relief. It's false smile strikes a familiar chord. knowledge of the relief it brought, Comes pouring back to me. As my hand curls about that familiar piece of steal. Breaking a long dead promise. Fulfilling my undying need. Relieving myself from all my Torments pain and grief.
21 Aug, 2009
This Pain
Locked behind a smile, This pain is twisting me, A decrepit lump in my tattered heart. Concealed by guile, This pain is haunting me, Phantom torture tearing me apart. You know my love, But do you know my anguish? Do you know the feelings buried deep inside? No. So stab me! Cut me! Get my emotions leaking like my jugular! A cry for help, A plea for purging, Drain me, and find out what underlies. You can't expect, To know me, Without reaching in, Pull the demons out of my mind, Play exorcist, And cleanse me, Before I curl up in a ball and die.
19 Aug, 2009
JUST LIKE YOU
I could be mean I could be angry You know I could be just like you I could be fake I could be stupid You know I could be just like you You thought you were standing beside me You were only in my way You?re wrong if you think that I?ll be just like you You thought you were there to guide me You were only in my way You?re wrong if you think that I?ll be just like you You thought you were there to guide me You were only in my way You?re wrong if you think that I?ll be just like you I could be cold I could be ruthless You know I could be just like you I could be weak I could be senseless You know I could be just like you You thought you were standing beside me You were only in my way You?re wrong if you think that I?ll be just like you You thought you were there to guide me You were only in my way You?re wrong if you think that I?ll be just like you You thought you were there to guide me You were only in my way You?re wrong if you think that I?ll be just like you On my own, cause I can?t take liven with you I?m alone, so I won?t turn out like you Want me to You thought you were standing beside me You were only in my way You?re wrong if you think that I?ll be just like you You thought you were there to guide me You were only in my way You?re wrong if you think that I?ll be just like you You thought you were there to guide me You were only in my way You?re wrong if you think that I?ll be just like you I could be mean I could be angry You know I could be just like you
19 Aug, 2009
EMO SONG LMAO
Dear Diary, Mood-Apethetic My life is spiraling downward. I couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert. It s***s because they play some of my favorite songs like Stab My Heart Because I Love You and Rip Apart My Soul and of course Stabby Rip Stab Stab and it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either like the guy from that one band can do. I'm an emo kid, nonconforming as can be You'd be nonconforming too if you looked just like me I got paint on my nails and makeup on my face I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs Cause I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag I call it freedom of expression most just call me a f** Cause our dudes look like chicks and our chicks look like dykes Cause emo is one step below transvestite Stop my breathing and slit my throat I must be emo I don't jump around when I go to shows I must be emo I'm dark and sensitive with low self esteem The way I dress makes everyday feel like Halloween I have no real problems but I like to make believe I stole my sisters mascara now I'm grounded for a week Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies I can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing Girls keep breaking up with me its never any fun They say they already have a x**xx they don't need another one Stop my breathing and slit my throat I must be emo I don't jump around when I go to shows I must be emo Dye in my hair and polish on my toes I must be emo I play guitar and write suicide notes I must be emo ...My life is just a black abyss you know? Its so dark and its suffocating me, grabbing a hold of me and tightening its grip. Tighter than a pair of my little sisters jeans...Which look great on me by the way... When I get depressed I cut my wrist in every direction Hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection I write in a LiveJournal and wear thick rim glasses I tell my friends I bleed black and
17 Aug, 2009
What Is Love?
Love is something you want to hold You don’t want to let go Because it gets mixed in with your soul It’s your very light You want to hold tight With all your might Knowing if you let go You’re all alone You have no one to hold Love hurts so much when it is crushed It makes you want to die You can’t help but cry Even though you promise Yourself that it’s not worth it He’s just another guy But love is like a drug You fall in love and you can’t quit You’re so addicted to it That you want to never let go But there is always a time that someone will let go Right? Its the truth but you try to ignore the fact With all your might That love can last forever but it’s rare Usually love tears apart And then you have to start all over again It hurts so much to leave a person who was once a friend When the one you love leaves You want to scream and rip your heart out You can’t help but shout What’s the point of a heart if it can’t love no more You want to close the door You want to quit and never love again But then someone you never realized comes along He’s just a friend Who helps you out of the dark You look at him as if he was your new heart A new start for love that was worn It was reborn even though you’re still torn You want to try to give love another chance You just want romance To feel loved and feel like you’re needed To feel like you’re actually appreciated If love hurts so much then why do we try Even though in the end we might just cry Is it because the look in there eyes when they tell the truth When they say they love you and mean it with all there hearts It’s like a new start in your life in your world That you finally found the perfect boy And hoping that he thinks you’re the perfect girl Is it the feeling you get when you fist kiss or hug That you cant help but fall in love I have been blessed and cursed in the same time I love this boy of mine so much It
17 Aug, 2009
*Gothic Romance*
In silence and in honor Into the darkness we fade With only minutes left To flaunt this parade... So throw away happiness! There is nothing left to say.. In our haste for true love We threw life away. Spill your blood in my hands I will drink forever more And cast violent shadows Monsters on this floor. And we feel the darkness fall As we return to our dance Slowly bleeding away This gothic romance....
17 Aug, 2009
I Would Die For You....
I love you enough That I would give my life And be tough Pushing through stife I would take my last breath If that meant That you could have the rest They are sent I would take one last look At everything around me Remembering it like a book I give you my ability to see Take my heart That longs for you But now since I am about to depart I know this is what I must do Take my body And place it at its grave This will be the only time It can be saved Line my casket In flowers and lace Have petals in a basket One thing you can replace Replenish my gone soul With a fountain With a bold Statue of grace Bury me In moist earth And let me be This is what I deserve This is all for you What you want I benefit from it to Because now I'm gone.....
17 Aug, 2009
Fake Love
I gave you my heart You through away the key Now you've found it And my hearts been given back to me This is how I feel Love for real? Am I dieing from fake love Has my time come to fly above I thought we were perfect But maybe just not Or were we so close close Was I the one you just forgot Together forever Or a lie all along Maybe were not meant too be Maybe were just wrong I'm broken inside Millions of me shattered I thought we were perfect I thought we had it
16 Aug, 2009
Nightmare Come True
Tried and crushed she was left to lay miserable and alone she was meant to stay. Eyeliner smudged; mascara running her warm wet tears kept on coming. Her heart torn broken in two all because she fell for you. As happy as can be she was that day together forever you were meant to stay. Days passed weeks did too time flew by and so did you. Into the picture comes her best friend this is where the story ends. These secret feelings you hid from her all come out in such a blur. She sits there stunned and on the floor her head in her knee's; back against the door, All her feelings couldn’t mean less her life shook up and left a mess. Feeling as stupid as can be wondering how she didn’t see that she was the odd-man-out in this game for three, Her worst nightmare come true the day she loses you. To no one other than the person she thought was her best friend. Tried and crushed she was left to lay miserable and alone she was meant to stay. Eyeliner smudged; mascara running her warm wet tears kept on coming. Her heart torn; broken in two all because she fell for you
16 Aug, 2009
I Feel Like..
I feel like crying I feel like dying I feel like dreaming I’m sick of being I hate this life I feel like taking a knife I feel like slashing A feel like smashing I feel like it’s the end I feel that there’s nothing left to mend I feel like nothing Why can’t I be something?
16 Aug, 2009
The End
Tears of pain Blood rushed veins Insane world of games No where to roam Dust to bones Heart cased in stone Deeply staring Empty air No darkness compares Chills sneaking Shoulders creeping Tingly proceedings Years good bye Lost lifetime Forever minds eye Fiery sky's blaze Animal uncaged Confused rage Undefined thoughts Terrifying broughts What if caughts Constant sorrow Razor blades swallowed Forgotten tomorrow Grim of fate Pure dis create His to take Crying night Moon light fright Losing the great fight Death arise Soul comprised Willfully dies
16 Aug, 2009
The Hell We Live
As I stand here waiting to walk through the doorway to hell seeing people that you once knew Looking at all there faces seeing the fear, and pain of the horror that was put on them, and in front of there lifeless bodies. We all are like flies on a pile of crap eating decayed flesh that is feeding on our souls of happiness that we once knew long ago Crying out to any one to help us or to listen so they will not end up in this place we all call hell. we all live in our own hell which is our life
15 Aug, 2009
Fallen
Big dark clouds And fallen skies Watch the light Drain from my eyes More then fear And more then emotion My drowning is clear In the wide open ocean Suffocating My bleeding heart I dread the day My world fell apart The explanations Of you fleeing my life They're slowly cutting me Like the blade of a knife Realization I can now surely see The reason you left And turned your back on me It wasn't sympathy Nor was it trust Simply speaking It was all just lust I was nothing At all to you And yet you act Like it's not true It wasn't fact Just one big dream Really better without you? Or is that only how it seems? Now you work through Twists, turns, and binds Your mow corrupting My innocent mind Ashes to ashes And dust to dust I'm scared of loving For you broke my trust Now I lay me down to sleep Turing relentlessly From all the pain Soundless without making a peep We can't put a price On what we had It makes me cry While still making me mad I know it was fake I obviously loose Knowing it was my Love you abused
15 Aug, 2009
SAYING GOODBYE
don’t want to leave you I don’t want to walk out in your life I want to be with you Because I love you so much But the pain is too much to bear You hurt my heart all the time You tortured my mind How can I stay with you? I’d rather vanish from your sight Than to hurt myself more No matter I how I love you Saying good-bye is the best thing to do.
15 Aug, 2009
What is Love?
They say love is life They say love heals all Love is blind, Love is pure Love knows no bounds Love is eternal That's what they say But a question I ask What is love? Love is light, Love is dark Love brings hope and joy Nothing can stand in lovers way Love is light in the shadows Love are shadows in the dawn Love doesn't lie At least I'm told But still I ask What is love? An answer I possess Love is the belief Belief is blindness Blindness is ignorance Ignorance is loves' core Love is the belief of fools Can anyone explain love? Is love not to complex Explain the unexplainable If love is a fools belief Then I am the greatest Fool Please, I beg you Tell me What is love?
15 Aug, 2009
""I Will Love You Forever
I’ve never known a love like yours Nor thought it could be true, But every time I touch your hands I feel what love can do With eyes like pearls And lips so tender, Each moment with you Makes my heart surrender I couldn’t live, I couldn’t breathe Without you by my side, Never will I let you go, My love will never hide And in my heart you’ll always be From now until forever, No matter what, no matter where We’ll always be together
15 Aug, 2009
True Love
Have you ever wondered, How, when, and where, You would ever find true love. Sometimes it takes a lifetime, Sometimes you never do, But this lifetime is treasured, All since I met you. When I hear your laughter It puts a smile on my face, In my heart, and in my life. And when I first laid eyes on You, I felt true love. Your kind and very gentle, Funny and sweet too, So I thought that this was The best way, of saying that I love you
15 Aug, 2009
The Letter
Here I'm sitting With paper and pen, Not sure where to start, Or where it will end. Having so much to say, Putting thoughts into words. Emotions getting in the way, My heart soaring like a bird. Thoughts scrambled here and there, Not making sense in my head. Eyes welling up with tears, Do I dare write from my heart, Or pretend nothings there
15 Aug, 2009
Our Story
I fall into your fantasy again, Dead fingers turn blank pages blindly... Why have you turned out the light that led my way To the end of the story? Our story. The words I wrote were straight from my heart My quill a blade, parchment my naked thigh Ink spilled from my veins To stain our saga into the earth My knight in shining armour, now dead with dull, Unseeing eyes, rusts in the dark. Fair maiden forgotten, her tears cold as the stone that entombs her. Dust settles quickly on unread stories. Erased so fast the words we whispered so sweetly to each other The candle's burnt out and I'm left in the dark To kiss the characters goodnight and close their eyes forever. The story burns in the fires of your anguish, Turns to ash on the tongue of any who dares whisper the words forbidden;
14 Aug, 2009
Angles
May the angles watch over you whilst you’re in you ever lasting sleep As you kissed yourself to heavens breath I will always remember I will never forget the laughs and the smiles And I’m am forever grateful for the blessing you gave But I know you will be watching over me Making sure everything is ok And when I look in our children’s eyes I will see your smiling face As much as it pains me that you’re gone I know you would want me to carry on and for you I will be strong I will always love you, that much is true and I know you up high guiding me threw
14 Aug, 2009
Heartless..........
You have touched my heart. I can not explain this feeling inside. I want to see you, want to feel you. Why, that is the question. I need to know why. We have met, only twice, yet my heart yearns for you. It makes no sense, this feeling I have. How can I feel this way? Why does it pull at me, totally illogical? Is it that I want to love someone, or is it that you are so familiar to me? The conversations we have shared, scare me inside. I liked them, you liked them, but disaster arrives. I don’t know, but I will flow with the journey. Even if I never see you again, I will enjoy this feeling. This feeling inside of me that has been created. With no intention of my soul, of my heart. Just something that I need to feel. A wanting, a knowing.. A yearning has been created inside me, of wanting to know. Too eager to know you. Too eager to be with you, too eager for answers. You push me away, silence from you, never knowing what makes you tick. Not knowing how you feel. You won’t let me get close. You wont let me touch you, kiss you. All I want to do, is hold you close, put your head in my lap, and stroke your face. Take your pain away. Ridiculous I know. But, hey, that is how the story goes. You may laugh at my feelings, think what a silly foolish fool, but this is how I feel. I would rather embrace this sign, and wait. I will wait. You may be heading overseas, but I will wait for your return. Maybe a call, maybe a sweet hello. A tear I cry, as I ask why. Why does he not like me? Why? But what will be, can only be, and I will wait for it to all make sense. Not in desperation of a man to want me. But of you, to understand why this lesson has arrived
14 Aug, 2009
Forever
As I watched the sun goes down Loneliness and tears were tearing me apart Coz I missed you with all my heart I feel empty without you in my life. You told me we would be together forever To the highest heights of the mountain To the garden of heaven But you left me in despair Can I see even a shadow of you? To feel your warmth touch I will stay along side of the window I will wait and long to see you
12 Aug, 2009
Scars
And as the razor hit the skin another scar would tell another memory love, hate, loneliness, unwanted to the human eye its confus****t and to the holder memories Memories which should be forgotten unwanted memories, unwanted past and each one of those scars reminding reminding them of their past life people staring and pointing You’re not something in a museum you’re a person, a human being people don't know the past people don't know the pain they may cause maybe they'll be the reason for a scar As you lay down to sleep you look, look at the scars and the flashbacks begin love, hate, loneliness, unwanted unwanted memories, to the holder
12 Aug, 2009
Broken Emotions
I’m down Then I’m up My emotions are all over the place Please don’t look into my eyes I don’t want you to see past the smile on my face I’ve been hiding the true me And I just can’t let anyone see How much of a mess I am And how much worse it can be I try every day To be something I’m not Because my hidden sorrows Are all that I’ve got Now I’ve lost everyone who cares So my broken emotions are all that’s there.
12 Aug, 2009
Just Like You
Don't act like you know me Like you know how I feel You say you've been through it all But it never was real You think you know what I want Cuz you think I'm just like you But you make up my feelings Even though I only have few You paint your name on my face Cuz it will make me better The emotions in my heart You send to me in a letter But it's time you stopped talking Just enough to hear me speak It's time you lost all control And became the one who's weak Cuz you don't know anything But how to deceive & lie I've learned to stay quiet It's about time for you to try.
11 Aug, 2009
My Blade
I wanna cry You make me wanna die Since when has it been OK For a mother to just throw you away You were mine and I was yours How could you just throw me away outside your doors Every time I think about all the pain and hurt you’ve caused me I just wanna set my life free As I turn back to my blade and push it to my skin I look up tears in my eyes and just grin I think of all the other times they weren’t so deep But this time is different I’m goin to watch myself bleed Slowly so slowly I push my blade in As I slide it back and forth I ask myself what was my life worth This time is different it’s not the same I’m done feeling all this pain and listening to all your little games Down the sidewalk is the path of my blade I really don’t feel any of the pain My adopted mom’s screaming "NO DON"T PLEASE STOP" That just makes me push my blade deeper in More blood to take again I’m bleed so fast As I think about my past The blood is running down my arm I just sit there and let it thinking "Oh it won’t do no harm" My adopted my brings a cold wet rag She tries to push it to my skin as I gag I push her away and say "No don’t touch me it’ll all be OK" I’m feeling dizzy now And I’m still wondering how You were mine and I was yours How could you just throw me away outside your doors The blood is gushing it won’t stop it just keeps coming I can see the vein on top I push my blade in more and more The floor is nothing but a bloody gore I’ve made it through I feel so blue As my eyes roll back in my head My adopted mom lays me on the bed My eyes see nothing Nothing but white I never felt a thing Not even a bite My breathing slows down slower and slower I can hear my adopted mom’s voice But it keeps getting lower and lower I can barely hear her screaming out loud "NO PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME" I’m thinking "Mom just let me be I’ve fin ally set my life free" I know it’s all over as t
11 Aug, 2009
I'm Sorry
I don’t think you know exactly what I feel To you I am just an abuser, a liar and a cheat But let me tell you what I need to say . . . I know I ran from what we had And I know that makes me a coward In your arms I felt secure And when holding you I felt like I could protect you from everyone else in the world I would have killed anyone who dared hurt you Not knowing that that person would be me I fled, ran from any emotional attachment I was scared, so ran into the arms of another And when I told you I know you cried I know you broke down, tears flooded the room You have every right to hate me And sometimes I fear you do But you say "No! Course I don’t hate you!" When we see each other we pretend to smile We act like we are fine how we are As if what happened was just a distant memory But I know the pain still lurks in each of us It was never said, but I think we were in love Which was finished before the credits rolled Due to fear that I was growing too accustomed Because, as much as we love each other I don’t think it should work It is wrong, we shouldn’t be feeling like this You are my best friend, this love is wrong
11 Aug, 2009
Sweet Revenge
Gripping a giant scythe in my right hand, I strangle her with my left. Giggling as I do this, At her choking, And ragged breaths, As I squeeze the life out of her. No, not yet. Taking my pocket knife out, I slit her wrists. Making her feel the pain, I felt. Hurts doesn't it, b****? I scrape the knife further up her arms, Drawing tiny X's on her shoulders, Teehee. She can't scream, Can't cry for help. Blood drips down her arms, And dyes the earth scarlet. I claw at her chest, Breaking the rib cage, Snap, Crackle, Pop, I dig deeper for her heart. Oh wait, What's this? As I suspected, This b**** has no heart, Just a black tarry mass. Yick. I throw it out onto the concrete. I then, Gouge her eyes out, My hands are now blood stained. Shredding her mouth with my razor, I stitch the pieces back together, Twisted into a cruel smile. Standing back up, I admire my work, Taking my scythe, And mutilating the body. Severed limbs litter the yard. Hurts doesn't it, b****? My laughter carries out into the bloody sunrise. Sweet, sweet, revenge...
11 Aug, 2009
Death Of A Star
The winter night is coming to show me The lights of the darkness that is in me There is no light to see but there is an urge to end this one One gets me as I look around my room in search of something to end this To end it all I come across a knife a blade That used to be silver now it is red because of blood That is left from the cuts that it made I’m thinking of ending this right now My body starts to shake as the blade goes in my body The tears it starts to bring is happiness to me The world starts going black and I fall to the ground The world doesn’t get it, the days never end This time I know I’m alive to feel this To be this to show me the truth about the death of a star Like me I’m not going to live, I’m not going to die The scares on my body are pieces of art to me Slowly I die
07 Aug, 2009
DEAth
You saw a bright light, One that you cannot fight. You try to cry out, only managed a short shout A star fell upon you, You are no fool. Fate uses you as a tool. And his heart stays cool, Treating you like a fool You are in death's arms, And you must remain calm. He had stopped the time, It suited you so fine. Rest now, poor soul, prepare for the eternal cold
06 Aug, 2009
MY DEATH
My death awaits With it warm embrace Paralyzed Stuck in time Trying not to close my eyes A waiting death I dug my hole Lying still It’s now my home Crying rivers Sinking down Still alive I don’t know how My death awaits But I can’t go in Scared to never see again Bloody wars Dieing kid Why would I want to live again Close my eyes It takes me in
05 Aug, 2009
Bloody Kiss
The silence amplifies my footsteps. I pull the phone cord from the wall. You remain silent. You don't wake. Tonight you will be mine, Your rebirth a thing of beauty. Don't scream. From now, you're pain will be less. Just let me give you a gift, My gift of a bloody kiss. For tonight, you will be a creature like me. A child of the night. Your eyes reflect the moonlight clearly. I place your corpse in the ground. I didn't bring flowers, Who needs them when their dead? You awake gasping, air you do not need. Your undead beauty, Leaves my breathless chest sore. You smile when you see me. The pain will go in time. We lay in my casket, and watch the dead angels sing. They sing for you. As your awakening was such a beautiful thing...
05 Aug, 2009
EMO LUV
As I sit in silence and surrounded by hate. I could never hope to find you it’s always too late. I fill the slick blade on my wrist and there’s no other way. I slice in and my pulse began to fade. Everything is going away eyes go black, heart is cold, blood runs black and I go. Don’t worry it will be alright with death in I slit my wrist now say goodnight.
05 Aug, 2009
Bloody Tears
Bloody tears fill your eyes They begin to poor with such Surprise Your breath has released you Hyperventilate the Bloody tears release in the night But fill the early light Monsters under your bed calling your name It’s such a shame that we ended this way I cut but it don’t help me My blood is trickling from the knife My life has come to past My bloody tears poor once more My life is up The blood has filled the cup
05 Aug, 2009
Razor to Scar
When I see my razor I think of pain and blood I see the scar forming on my body I place my fingers around the handle I grip it so tight my fingers go white I spot my place to cut A place that has nothing... And now it’s a blanket canvas I place the razor sideways on my skin I push hard down on the razor My blank canvas goes white I run the razor back in forth on my canvas I can feel the sting of metal meeting blood The cherry red blood runs down my body My canvas is now red I seal my canvas with a bandage I rinse my razor... And place it back on the counter My canvas is now a scar That reminds me of that day every time my eyes glance to work of art on my body The razor can be thrown away but the scar remains... FOREVER!
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