02 Jul, 2010
your mama so old
Yo mama so old, When she farted dust came out! Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died. Yo mama so old her social security number is 1! Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. yo mama so old george washington was her best friend
02 Jul, 2010
yo mama so ugly!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yo mama so ugly she looks like she fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Yo mama so ugly that not even goldfish crackers smile back Yo mama so ugly Bob the Builder looked at her and said "I CAN'T FIX THAT!" Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
02 Jul, 2010
yo mama!!!
Yo mama so skinny her nipples touch. Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio Yo mama so skinny she has to hold herself above the toilet for fear of falling in. Yo mama so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex. Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared. Yo mama so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid! Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco! Yo mama so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her Yo mama so stupid she tried to put her m&ms in alphabetical order. Yo mama so stupid she put paper on the television and called it paper view Yo mama so stupid she went to the orthodontist to get a blue tooth Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a mattress store and sleep on the floor Yo mama so stupid she thinks taco bell is a mexican phone company Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell Yo Mama so fat her BMI is measured in acres. Yo Mama so fat when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone Yo mama so fat when her b****er goes off, people thought she was backing up Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo" Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates! Yo mama aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back! Yo mama lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray. It took yo mama 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used to the front seat! Yo mama hips are so big, people set their drinks on them. Yo mama hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it. Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone. Yo mama so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on. Yo mama twice the man you are. Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo. Yo mama is missing a finger and can't count past nine. Yo mama arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear. Yo mama middle name is Rambo. Yo mama in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more."
28 Sep, 2009
birtday sex
It's your birthday so I know you want to riiide out, Even if we only go to myyy house Sip mo- weezy as we sit upon myyy couch Feels good, but I know you want to cryyy out You say you want passion I think you found it Get ready for action Don't be astounded We switchin' positions You feel surrounded Tell me where you want your gift, girl {Chorus} Girl you know I-I-I Girl you know I-I-I I've been feenin' Wake up in the late night...dreamin' about your lovin' Girl you know I-I-I Girl you know I-I-I Don't need candles or cake just need your body to make good Birthday s** Birthday s** It's the best day of the year, girl Birthday s** Birthday s** It feels like, feels like... lemme hit that...g-spot g-spot {Verse 2} See you s**y and them jeans got me on 10 1-2-3, think I got you pinned Don't tap out...fight until the end Ring that bell; we gon start over again We grindin' wit passion, cuz it's yo birthday Been at it for hours...I know you thirsty You kiss me so sweetly...taste just like Hershey's Just tell me how you want yo gift, girl {Chorus} {Verse 3} First I'm gonna take a dive into the water deep until I know I pleased that body (body ah oop) Or girl without a broom I might just sweep you off your feet And make you wanna tell somebody (body, how I do) somebody body how i do Or maybe we can float on top my water bed you close your eyes as i impry between your legs We work our way from kitchen stoves, and tables Girl you know I'm more than able to please, yeah Say you wanted flowers on the bed (on the bed) But you got me and now it's on again {Chours) (it's the best day of the year, girl) (lemme know what it feels like, feels like, when I hit that G-spot, G-spot)
28 Sep, 2009
your jerk
Jeeerkk I'm so cocky with it got my iced out clubs like rocky hit Got your girl on my swagg she lovin them j***in songs Like the new ipod just touch it and turn her on And when the bass start beatin and the waist I'm beatin Done I got on my way I'm leavin she like where your goin I aint got my shoes and purse I said it's none of your concern and she yelled (your a j***! )So I walked out the door called Ben J. told him it's a function he said I?m on my way We pulled up to the party I take off my shirt and got geeked up everybody j***in We was j***in to the right j***in to the left then she popped out of nowhere she was still half dressed She like fa real j*** you left me for this stuff the whole party heard her but all I could hear was Wah wah wah wah (your a j***) Why you trippin I aint even do nothin(your a j***) I?m a j*** you aint neva lie But aye do me a favor call me j*** one more time(your a j***! ) I know Your a j***! (I know) [x6] Jerk j*** j*** (j***in) Jerk j*** j***(j***in) Jerk j*** j***(j***in) Jerk j*** j***(j***in) Everything quiet and the bass real hard And I stay geeked up never been a r**** got a new boy swagg And this here for yall so we gotta keep it separate like the jim crowe laws I'm a beast I'm a gang and I guess I'm a j*** and I go thru big rounds Cause ya boy here a flirt man you call me a bottle with your lil j*** lines Then you say you brought it up but the j*** is mine You squeezin I'm squeezin but yo style is wack Why you comin to the front you can push that back got ya girl on the side She talkin sum lil stuff while she textin on the phone Ben J. hit it rough So I did it was good and I quickly got dressed she was like where you goin There's another girl next she screamed out loud Ben J.(your j***! )And I had nothing to say b
22 Jul, 2009
16 things to do in wal-mart
1. Get 24 boxes of open soda and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling g**s in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look". 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, a**ume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!
11 Jun, 2009
answer in my inbox
if it was my birthday and I wanted you to surprise me for my B-Day wat would you give me? *P.S.* Send me it in a message cuz it may be personal And repost this to see wat ppl would get you
11 Jun, 2009
this is so sweet
Girl: Did I ever cross in your mind? Boy: No. Girl: Do you like me? Boy: Not really. Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No. Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No. Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No. Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No. Girl: Choose - Me or your life? Boy: My life. The girl runs away in shock and pain, and the boy runs after her, then he says... The reason you never cross in my mind is because you're always on my mind.. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.. The reason why I don't want you is because I need you.. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.. The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.. and The reason I choose my life is because YOU ARE MY LIFE... If you would say the same thing (being a girl or boy), copy this and put it on your profile
