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names phil i am wat u can call redneck for life ppl there mud i will be in it and for my school i play fullback and a lifting competion is comin up which i can bench the most in my class i kick a**
|First Name :||philip|
|Last Name :||kimmell|
|Member Since :||27 Apr, 2008|
06 May, 2009
come on ppl guess u gotta no what tmr is ........... its my bday o yea g**na be 15
11 Apr, 2009
Q. Why is air a lot like s**? A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
16 Mar, 2009
Two guys are watching a dog lick its balls and one says "Man, I wish I could do that." The other guy says, "Really? I think I'd just pet him first."
10 Mar, 2009
Playing Doctor ? Two children were in a doctor's waiting room. The little girl was softly sobbing. "Why are you crying?" asked the little boy. "I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger," said the girl. When he heard this, the little boy started to cry. "Why are you crying?" asked the girl. The boy looked at her worriedly and said, "I'm here for a urine test."
04 Mar, 2009
Lawyer and Vulture ? What''s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Wings.
03 Mar, 2009
Britney Spears vs. Computer ? How is a computer like Britney Spears? They're both cheap, white, and plastic.
01 Mar, 2009
Three Bad-Ass Mice Three mice are sitting in a bar. The first one exclaims, "I am one bad-ass mouse! In my hood, we have huge mousetraps. I take the damn cheese out of the traps and move the bar up and down while I eat." The second one chimes in with, "Oh yeah. Well, I'm a bad-ass mouse too. In fact, I'm such a bad-ass mouse, that in my hood, I mix rat poison with my milk and chug it down every night before I go to bed." The third gets up and starts to leave. The other two mice both yell out, "Hey chicken, where do you think you're going?" The third one replies, "Going home to f*** the cat."
28 Feb, 2009
Fifteen Things to do at Wal-Mart While your Spouse is Taking His or Her Sweet Time: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens. 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in only if they bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 10. While handling g**s in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible." 12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. 13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, a**ume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again." and last but not least, 15. Go into a fitting room and yell loudly, "Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!"
27 Feb, 2009
Yo Mama's so old, I took her to see "Jurassic Park" and she started having flashbacks
26 Feb, 2009
since its my first day of jokes u get 2 joke 2
Stayin' Alive ? A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life. He said, "You gotta sprinkle a little g**powder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you'll live to a nice ripe old age." So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96. When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren ...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium
26 Feb, 2009
How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
26 Feb, 2009
joker has begun
hey guys and girls i am g**na start posten jokes everyday if u like em message me well i will try to post a new one everyday
10 Feb, 2009
bored as hell!!!!
nothin to do anybody wanna talk as u can see i is friggin bored anybody at all
21 Nov, 2008
2morrow is youth huntin season and i am gettin up and goin bright n early cant wait gonna be a little cold but it aint gonna bother me
29 Jul, 2008
hey everybody on my friends list and anybody else add this guy he is my cuz and coolest guy u ever meet and gurls hes lookin for someone so get at him
17 Jul, 2008
BILLY,S STORY you must read all the way through! NO CHEATING! (itz worth it ) mom calls the husband a 'bastard' and then the dad calls the wife a "b****" and billy goes to his mom and says "mom what's a b**** and a b******?" and the mom says "well, a b**** is a lady and a b****** is a gentlemen" and then later billy goes outside and listens to his neighbors, and hears "Put your p**** in my v*****!" So Billy goes to his mom and says "mom whats a p**** and v*****?" His moms says "Well Billy, a p**** is a hat and a v***** is a coat" and then later billy sees his dad shaving and cuts himself and says "SH!T" and billy said "Dad, whats *SH!T" And then his dad says "Well billy, SH!T is a type of Shaving cream " and then billy goes to see his mom cutting the turkey and his mom cuts her finger and says "FUCC!" and then billy says to his mom "Mom whats FUCC?" "Well billy FUCC is a way of cutting the turkey" and Then later the guests arrive and billy goes to them and says "Hello b****es and b******s, may i take your p****'s and v*****s, my dad's upstairs wiping SH!T off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen FUCCing the Turkey" Post This... 1 hour- You'll be single for the next year :[ 20 min - Your crush will kiss you 15min - Your crush will tongue you :) 5-10 min - Your crush will ask you out under 2 min - You will stay with your crush forever
13 Jul, 2008
do u luv someone enough to do this??????????
Do you love someone enough to do this? I bet you don't... Don't turn your back, you just opened it,keep reading...if you would jump in front of a bullet for your girlfriend, boyfriend,best friends,or just a person you love, repost this. Tonight, your soulmate will call, kiss, or ask you out... if you break this chain, you will be PUNISHED. Repost with t**le: Do you love someone enough to do this???
09 Jul, 2008
goin ta kennywood on fri so i aint gonna be on everybody and i aint gonna be on 2morrow either got plans ok so latert ppl
28 May, 2008
YEA 2DAY I LEAVE FOR CEDAR POINT WITH MY SCHOOL AND ITS GONNA BE AWSOME!!!!!!!!!! I AM GONNA RIDE EVERY FREAKIN RIDE IN THAT PARK!!!!!