10 May, 2012

Alyssa; <3

I just want to talk to her one last time.. < | 3

05 Jul, 2011

Seth. <3

One day there where two boys (Jake and Seth) going to the ice cream man and Seth was first. He bought a Blow Pop and accedently grabbed a nickel thinking it was a quarter. Sad that he had to give the lolipop back,Jake came in and paid for it. Seth smiled and thanked him,gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked away. Jake couldn't help but to stare at his bum walk away. Seth looked back and saw him staring,gave him a wink and ended up sleeping with him at Seth's house. The next morning Seth woke up in his arms and told Jake he's pregnat. He took a shower and when he came out Jake,Jake's wallet,and Jake's car was gone............ Thinking Jake left him he sat on the couch crying. Then came in Jake with baby stuff,Seth realizing Jake was a good faithful guy jumped up and kissed him,and cooked him breakfast,they ended up having a little girl and Jake proposed to Seth next to a beutifal quiet lake. Still Seth waiting to this day for the wedding, is happy with his life,home,and life. And to think this all happened because of a lolipop. The End<3

03 Jul, 2011

Allie. (:

One day two super s**y people named allie and jake were walking in the forest looking at an adult mart catalog. jake was looking for a new outfit for his wifey [allie] and allie was looking just to look. they walked and walked and finally got out of the forest. they reached their house and prepared for what was inside. jake and allie have over 647,328,918,372,910,378,201,737,291,073,290,173,910,837,191,047,390,200 children and counting! they walked inside the house and went upstairs to their bedroom. to their surprise, romeo and juilet were in their bed, having s**. "to the guest room!" jake said, picking allie up and carrying her to the guest room. he lay her down on the bed because she was tired and he went to change into his pjs. he couldnt help but wonder where all the kids were. when he got back to to guest room, allie was gone. jake ran downstairs only to find allie eating her children with elmo. jake ran away and died of mywifeisacannibal disorder, old and lonely. allie had s** with elmo and had elmo babies. the end.

02 Jul, 2011

Moriah!(:

~ONE DAY~ Jake And Moriah Were Walking Down The Road Talking And Laughing..Jake Asked Moriah "You Wanna Lick Me Dont You?? You Know Im Yummyy(:Moriah Did Not Know How To Respond To This. So She Just Licked His Cheek. When She Licked His Cheek, Jake Turned Into A Flying Hello Kitty Toaster! Moriah Didnt Know What To Do. As She Was Walking, Jake The Now Hello Kitty Toaster Was Flying Above Her Head. Whatever. It Wasnt THAT Impressive(; Moriah Took Him Home To Her House And Plugged Him In. "Teehee, That Tickles!!xD" Jake Announced. Of Course, Only Moriah Could Understand Him(: Moriah Spent Hours Thinking Of How To Free Jake From This Horrible Curse. If Only Jake Wasnt So Damn Yummy! Moriah Thought. Then Thats When It Dawned On Her- Moriah Reached Down Into Her Bread Drawer. She Pulled Out Four Pieces Of Bread (You See, Jake Had Four Bread Cookers). They Waited For A While, And Eventually Jake Popped And Toast Came Outt!!!xD When Moriah Finished Eating Every Piece Of Toast, Jake Turned Back Into JAKE.(:!! He Smiled- "Thanks!" He Said. It Was Silent For A While. Then Jake Broke The Silence. "So Do I Taste Good Or What?xD" ~THE END~

01 Jul, 2011

Wesley.(:

Once upon a time A boy and a kitten were playing! The boy treated the kitten like a baby. He treated him like a brother o: So one day they were hanging out and be like awww man the j**zle and shizz when a giant fuccking marshmallow came and like crushed their j**zle treehouse. The Kitten started to cry for the boy who's name is Jake. So yea Jake came running to Wesley the kitten and was like what's wrong. Wesley told him about the marshmallow man and Jake got mad. He got his giant graham cracker and a ton of chocolate! He ran to the marshmallow with a lot of fire and cooked him alive. Wesley was so happy! They turned the marshmallow man into a smore and ate him. They got real fat but worked off the weight when the magical Unicorn came to give the pony rides! The End

21 Mar, 2011

Oliver. (:

Once upon a time. There were two boys named Jake and Oliver, they were outside playing at the park like little kids, people were always staring at them but they didn't care at all, Oliver went down the slide and fell off and hit the ground that he hit he's head he was dizzy for a bit. Jake was on the swing, swinging as high as he could, but he wasn't holding on tight, and he fell. This man came and helped them up and the man left Oliver found a piece of paper in his pocket that said "make 4 wished" They both get two wishes.. it was really dry day , that Oliver wished for rain, and it starting raining and his other wish was falling smarties, both came true. Oliver ate the smarties, and ended up dying. Jake wished for he was a king, and it came true .. he was sitting in he's thingy (haha) and people were all around him clapping for him for saving their town from a big a** dragon. and he forgot about he's second wish. the dragon came back took off the roof and took jake out of the castle and took him to he's home. the dragon ate him!