Xxscared4lifexX's Profile

Member Since: 08/05/2009
Last Login: 12/22/2011
Profile Views: 8430
Jakey Land, El Salvador
About Me:
Hey im Jake..i hav my own lil world its called JAKEYLAND..bitches i kno ur jelous lol jk...if u wanna join my colony messge me..

Xxscared4lifexX's Blog

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Oct 5 2009 8:15PM
Bye Bye
You're gonna choke
Fade like smoke
That's all she wrote

You are wrong
A line in song
Say so long.
Sep 30 2009 7:28PM
My Razorblade Romance
There's a pain
one that many mistake.

they believe you're wrong
if you think it's a

hate me, judge me
it doesnt hurt me
and when it does i drive it away
and cry those red tears on my wrist.

there are one to many
cuts to count
some only i can see
some still bleed
call me crazy - it's my release.

there's this thing
called a razor.
mine's not the normal shape
mine i got out of an
exact-o knife blade
Two years ago and three days.

i remember that night so clearly
i don't know why i did it
i just put it to my thumb
and dragged hard and quick till i reached
my elbow.
I watched the blood fall and exhale in relief
all my pain had been driven away.

by one cut on my wrist i was free
my emotions gone, pain dead
but it didn't last
i was loveless, having a
razorblade romance,
i wanted something more from it
my release lasted only a minute
then i would have to cut again.

it became deeper and deeper
till it wasnt enough
and i found my mom's lighter
and lit my skin up.
i didn't like myself much.
I was tangled in a web of lies
hiding my skin, pretending
because I knew it was wrong
but I continued, I played the razorblade game.

This is the last verse of the poem, one last final blow
the burns and cuts didn't hurt enough, weren't final enough
i didn't believe I was suicidal , until the day before last
when I counted up all the reasons I had for death.
I counted my scars and burns - each one
holds a different memory, a different reason
to hate myself.
one hundred and forty two cuts, sixty-five burns.
add that all up and what do you get?
Sep 30 2009 12:45AM
About Love
Gravity is not responsible for the people to fall in love.
It just happens.
And when it does happen, don't wait for right time to express,
Because right time is when you heart beats faster.
If you love someone...don't wait for tomorrow,
Or for the other person
To make the move agreed
Tomorrow never dies
But also remember, tomorrow never comes,
So life is today
Sep 30 2009 12:40AM
Hidden Tears
The taste of bitter tears
Softly roll off my lip
They cascade down my cheeks
And moisten up my neck

I lay in my bed
Soaking in my own tears
I try to muffle the escaping cries
I can’t let anyone hear

I mask these tears during the day
With a plastered on smile
And a happy little wave
I pretend to laugh at your stupid jokes
I fake my attitude
It’s all just a hoax

This all changes when I lie down to bed
I lay on my mattress and nustle my head
I bury my face in my tear stained pillow
Letting out the cries, billow by billow

I must wear a convincing mask
‘Cause you don’t seem to care
You don’t see the real me
A passing glance you don’t even spare

I wish that someone would notice
And break down my guarded piers
Please hear what I’m not saying
Unspoken hidden tears
Sep 30 2009 12:38AM
So Much to Say
I still love you,
I always have,
And always will.
I'm no good at letting go.
I still wanna be with you,
But you've kept me on hold.
I've been by your side for much too long.
So I thought I should move on,
I thought I could be strong.
But once you were gone,
I found it hard to even find reason.
Reason to wake up,
Reason to live,
Reason to keep breathing,
Reason to give,
This life another chance,
This world another glance,
From a different point of view,
But I still only saw you.
I never wanted to say those things i did,
But I was tired of getting hurt.
I waited for only disappointment.
You knew it wouldn't work.
Did you like giving me false hopes?
Your words are the ropes,
That hang me high off the ground.
The choking lies that wrap around,
My throat so tightly,
The sight unsightly.
Hanging breathlessly,
Swaying lifelessly,
Forever endlessly.
Sep 30 2009 12:37AM
Being Hurt Again...
Why must all the good that happens be taken away with something bad???
Why hope for something good to happen if something bad will come to ruin it sooner or later...
I can't keep hoping for something good to happen only to be let down
And my heart to be broken over and over again.
But then again you cant brake something that is already broken
All you can do is make the pieces smaller
Sep 27 2009 2:33AM
When I Told You...
When I told you
That I loved you
And will always love you
I meant what I said

When I told you
That I couldn't lose you
No matter what happened
I meant what I said

So even though
We aren't together anymore
Doesn't mean I take back what I said
I meant what I said

Instead of breaking down in tears now
Every time I talk to you
Every time I think about you
Every time I see you
I am happier than ever

Having you
Making an effort to be my friend again
Makes me smile once more
Cuz it means you don't wanna lose me either.
Sep 25 2009 5:29PM
Broken Inside
but still lost
who do you see in the mirror?
do you see what i see?
losing Faith
I walk alone
trying to fight my way through life
but still the scars follow
scared to smile because my heart is crying
the angel that once guided me lost me!
I keep running
but I don't know which way I’m going?
I’m losing it
I’m finding it
I’m falling behind I’m like a shattered window
broken inside!
Sep 24 2009 9:11PM
Dying for You
Days they come and nights they go
Days are long and nights are cold
I think of you in your long black dress
And all the pain that I possess
I want to be with you
Feed with you
Bleed with you
And live your nightmare
Right by your side

Everything you have shown to me
Maybe beyond this nightmare is a dream
I scream in silence
The violence it scares me
But on the inside I know that it prepares me
For what’s ahead…

Drowning in your sorrow
Waiting for your tomorrow
Not living for myself
I’m merely dying for you
And everything that you do
Is new to me

Why can’t you be…
My gentle seed
So pure and so non- existent
Nothing’s different, stay the same
In this place of hate I will remain.
Sep 24 2009 9:10PM
My Feelings...
Have you ever had that feeling?
Like no one understands you?
And no matter what you do..
No matter how many smiles you show people,
You're hurting inside...?
And it's apparent to others,
But they just don't like to bring it up?

No matter what I do..
I feel like that...
I feel like there's no place in this world for me...
All these people who try to help me..
All the things I’ve tried...
I'm still all alone in a room full of people...

In the mall, I feel like I’m being stared at...
Wherever I go I feel like I have no reason at all to be happy,
It's that feeling where you get annoyed at people for no reason...
You snap on people all the time...
You feel cold inside all the time..
You make fun of people just to make yourself feel better...

And when you finally realize what you're doing..
It's too late..
You've already ruined your life..
Your friends are mad at you b/c they just don't understand...
And you can't talk to anyone about it....
Only b/c you feel like they'll think you're psycho...
Or worse...

I've been feeling like that!
It's kinda a feeling you can't get rid of...
You feel like you have a dark cloud following you everywhere you go..
When people look at you they frown...
It seems like you'll never be happy!
And these feelings that haunt me ever so much..
Are the same feelings that haunted my cousin for a while...
Finally, she gave up...
Thinking like this is the reason my cousin is in the ground...
I can't get rid of it..
So maybe..
Just maybe, I belong right on side of her...?


Xxscared4lifexX's Friends Comments

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Oct 3 2009 11:15AM

Jakeyy LANDD :P
Oct 3 2009 2:17AM

I wanna live in Jakey Land
Oct 2 2009 4:00PM

:O can i liverz in jakey land ... pweaz pweaz pweaz pweaz pppwwweeeeaaaazzz XD lolz jkjkjkjkjk
Sep 30 2009 8:18AM

all yur blogs r good but sad,
but yur a good writer
Sep 30 2009 1:33AM

I love yuh jakey :}
Sep 29 2009 3:14PM

imma in your colonyy :P
Sep 26 2009 3:42AM

Hey Jake!!! Just Showin Ur Page Some Luv!!! Message Meh Ok ttyl :P
Sep 25 2009 8:16AM

thnx 4 tha add. :D showin sum luv
Sep 22 2009 4:20PM

Sep 20 2009 2:38AM

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,/ *_) . -♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥- .
,,,,, _,----,_/,,/ , RAWR Means .
,,,,/,,,,,,,,,,,,,,/ , I Love You .
_/...(...|.(...|) , In Dinosaur .
/__.-|_|--|_| .
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