Mr. Godd's Profile


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Member Since: 05/02/2010
Last Login: 05/03/2010
Profile Views: 913
Age:
119
Gender:
Male
Location:
Zimbabwe
About Me:
I am a spy baby. Named Captain Crotch. Just don't ask...
E-mail:
Website:
www.IHATURGUTS.net

Mr. Godd's Blog

May 2 2010 7:30PM
The Temporarily Unclassified Classifications of the Human and Such Race p. 4
year old English teacher. But be warned; super babies may result in loss of appetite, deep depression, osteoporosis, heart failure, kidney failure, liver failure, and brain damage. Some common side effects of super baby are dizziness, distortion, disorientation, short term memory loss, long term memory loss, and Alzheimer’s disease. Do not get super baby if you are on appetite gaining medicines, depression relieving medicines, osteoporotic medications, heart, kidney, or liver saving medications, brain prolongation medicines, dizziness, distortion, disorientation, short or long term memory loss, and/or Alzheimer’s disease prevention medications. Consult your doctor to see if super baby is right for you.
Spy Babies
The Spy Babies. An elite group of super babies bent on destroying TOE- MAH- TOES. Yes, that is correct in assuming. They are the FIB. That’s why super babies want your fats. Not to analyze it, but because super babies give the human fats to the Spy Babies in return for beard shampoos, and the Spy babies need fats. Not because they’re in the FIB, but because a Spy Baby’s main supply of foods if fats. Speaking of the Spy Babies or the FIB will result in awful, awful things. They have the latest technology; fingernail removal weaponry. Tongue shortening devices. Mouth quivering gadgets. Nuclear bombs the size of your anus! But worst of all, if you expose us, we’ll make you eat a TOE- MAH- TOE with Apes eggs in it.
May 2 2010 7:30PM
The Temporarily Unclassified Classifications of the Human and Such Race p. 3
it. The FBI is Federal Bureau of Investigation, and the CIA is Central Intelligence Agency. Together, they form Federal Intelligence of Bureau, or FIB. So eat your TOE- MAY- TOES, and avoid your TOE- MAH- TOES, because, yes, there is a difference.
Infanortos
Just babies. Nothing to see here… Move along! Now I say! Avoid the average babies! They are nothing but young CIA, FBI, and FIB agents. Err, not regular Infanortos. In fact, regular Infanortos are JUST BABIES! You don’t believe me, do you? Of course not, because you still think that I’m a loon. So look, I am. Okay? Happy? I bet you are. Why are you? Because I admitted to being a loon. So there. That’s why your happy. So stop bugging me. Really. Cut it out. You’re getting me aggravated. So aggravated that I will probably explode. So just stop. Please. Because if I do explode, you will NEVER finish reading this! BWAHAHAHA! Oh, that crosses it. Just stop. Now. Right now. Wait, what? You never started? You’re not even talking? Well, this is embarrassing… I guess… I guess I should separate my head voices with my ear voices.
Infanortos Alpha Metalauge
Yeah. Super babies, A.K.A. babies with beards. This rare species of infants was originally founded in 1472, in Amazon. Just kidding. It was in eBay! The only characteristic that stands out between babies and super babies, is that super babies have no bellybutton. Oh yeah, and super babies have beards. What, you don’t believe me? Déjà vu… Super babies grow from the ground, then walk military style to their dormitories. In eBay. All super babies are sold online. Not in stores near you. The odds of finding a super baby are 10 in 5. So yes, it is hard to find them. When found, they often cost one hundred. Pounds. Not English pounds either, they want your fats, and I’ll get to why in the next section, but for now, I’ll just say that they want your fats. Super babies poop twice as often, and pee three times more! Oh, and they have a fully developed vocabulary of a 70 ye
May 2 2010 7:29PM
The Temporarily Unclassified Classifications of the Human and Such Race p. 2
them. They will then shrink down the next day, and move to their next victim.
Balodious Sigmaton
This description will be significantly shorter, due to the lake of story about Apes. However, this will be said; bald men with suitcases are not one with whom you should mess with and stuff. They were attacked by a horrible, horrible Apes. But they were resistant. They fought off the Apes, and managed to save their brains from going to the Apes’s nest! Why, how rude, I have forgotten to say, Apes have nests. Ever seen a giant owl nest or something? Yeah, that’s not an owl nest. Owls make burrows, stupid. It’s an Apes nest. I know what you’re thinking, I’m a lunatic. While that’s probably true, so? Was Lincoln a loon? Yeah! Was Einstein? Heck yeah! So, whom cares if I am, these are cold hard facts. So anyway, an Apes nest is constructed out of raw meat, and human brain, holographically disguised as a nest. Because, yeah, Apes are that smart. Their eggs are horrible. I would recommend them scrambled, but even then, disgusting. Back to the main story about bald, suitcased men. They have a horrible secret. In the suitcase… is their brain.
Masnotaug
The tomato. For those of you whom don’t understand, that’s TOE- MAH- TOE. Tomato. Rhymes with POE- TAH- TOE. These are not fruits. Nor are they vegetables. In fact, they are just psychopathic murderers whom choke, strangle, squeeze necks of, and shoot their victims. Yes, I know what it sounds like. I’m a lunatic. But would a lunatic use whom instead of who for every time the word who should be used? No. No they would not. When you bite a tomato, it injects microscopic eggs into your bloodstream. They hatch, and eventually cause bloating. Yes, tomatoes are the reason America is more like Obesica. They make you fat. Chubby. Obese. Other countries were not infected, because, 39 years ago, the government sent out these tomatoes, and shipped them into all American stores. This is a horrible thing, and the FIB is working to stop
May 2 2010 7:28PM
The Temporarily Unclassified Classifications of the Human and Such Race
First off, I would like to dedicate this story to my wonderful friend. My friend whom’s been with me ever since the dawn of time. The one I can always trust. The one I usually regret when I ignore. The great wonderful absolutely splendid friend of mine. I know that this description may shock you, but it is my friend. It is my close friend. It is my best friend. My greatest, smartest, fastest friend. My friend, Spellcheck.

The Temporarily Unclassified Classifications of the Human and Such Race
There are quite a bit of classifications of races. There are, in brief, Balodious, or bald men, Balodious Sigmaton, or bald men with suitcases, Masnotaug, or tomato (pronounced “toe-mah-toe”), Infanortos, or babies, super babies, or Infonortos Alpha Metalauge, or super babies, and spy babies, or babies whom spy. That makes 9, including the 12th. This classification will go through each one and give you a description according so.
Balodious
Ah, yes. The bald men. Those silly, silly, twisted bald men. You may have heard this before, in The Secret Knowledge of Grown-Ups by David Wisniewski. This book is completely fictional except for this part, and the next classification. Bald men do not have brains. They were taken away. Not by whom is stated in the book, in fact, the only truthful section is the bald men do not have brains. No, they were taken away, by Apes. Horrible, horrible Apes. Yes, Apes, not ape, Apes. An Apes is actually a small rodent, approximately the size of a baseball. They have teeth sharp as nails, nails sharp as teeth, and fur soft as an Infanortos bottom. When an Apes comes to attack you, you only have one chance of survival. Run. If you don’t they will use their nail teeth to shave your head, and their teeth nails to suck your brains into their spines. Then, they’ll grow to their full size. About the size of a basketball, with teeth as sharp as my jokes, talons as spikey as a porcupine, fur like a dead cow, and wings that have pictures of Abe Lincoln on

 

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-Slash-
Jun 4 2010 12:21PM

Hey. Jesus, you do love writing your blogs don't you. ;)

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