Ass Crack's Profile


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Member Since: 09/04/2009
Last Login: 04/09/2010
Profile Views: 1879
Age:
32
Gender:
Male
Location:
Narnia, United States
About Me:
My name is Tarnel. I like cheesesteaks. I like to fart.(fart) I like walmart. I like Subway.I like to sleep. I like onion. I like step up 2. My house looks like a big wooden box with a hole in the front that is shaped like a moon. I like neon lights.
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Ass Crack's Blog

Mar 8 2010 8:32PM
Jesus blog
jesus

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile. DON'T JUST IGNORE THIS BECAUSE IN THE BIBLE it says if you deny Him, He will deny you in front of His Father in the Gates of Heaven. This is the simplest test: If you love God and you are not ashamed of it, copy this and put it in your profile. God will smile at you
Mar 8 2010 8:26PM
Age Shouldn't Matter
this is a true story

true story

Girl: nm you
Boy: i got my G.E.D.
Girl: OMG!!! IM SO PROUD OF YOU
Boy: yeah thnx
Girl: i have to tell you something
Boy: go ahead
Girl: well i love you. i always have i cared about you and your always in my heart
Boy: thats cool i love you too but your too young your 14 and i'm 17
Girl: but i love you, age shouldn't matter
Boy: i know u do and i love u but i found this girl and shes my age
Girl: i just thought......(crying she logs off)
The next day the boy turns on the news and hears that a 14 year old girl cut her wrists and wrote on the wall "Age never matters"

The boy then recives a call from the girl he chose and she says "I'm leaving you for the one i love.''
That night the boy hangs himself and writes on the wall "She's right. Age doesn't matter. I love you and always will.''
iF YOU AGREE THAT AGE SHOULDN'T MATTER AS LONG AS YOU LOVE THEM THEN REPOST THIS AS "Age Shouldn't Matter"
and..
A miracle will happen at 11:11
Feb 27 2010 9:03PM
repost this
BILLY,S STORY you must read all the way through! NO CHEATING! (itz worth it ) mom calls the husband a 'bastard' and then the dad calls the wife a "b****" and billy goes to his mom and says "mom what's a b**** and a bastard?" and the mom says "well, a b**** is a lady and a bastard is a gentlemen" and then later billy goes outside and listens to his neighbors, and hears "Put your penis in my vagina!" So Billy goes to his mom and says "mom whats a penis and vagina?" His moms says "Well Billy, a penis is a hat and a vagina is a coat" and then later billy sees his dad shaving and cuts himself and says "SH!T" and billy said "Dad, whats *SH!T" And then his dad says "Well billy, SH!T is a type of Shaving cream " and then billy goes to see his mom cutting the turkey and his mom cuts her finger and says "FUCC!" and then billy says to his mom "Mom whats FUCC?" "Well billy FUCC is a way of cutting the turkey" and Then later the guests arrive and billy goes to them and says "Hello b****es and bastards, may i take your penis's and vaginas, my dad's upstairs wiping SH!T off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen FUCCing the Turkey" Post This... 1 hour- You'll be single for the next year :[ 20 min - Your crush will kiss you 15min - Your crush will tongue you 5-10 min - Your crush will ask you out under 2 min - You will stay with your crush forever
Sep 26 2009 10:59AM
The Breakfast
Every day i make me 20 chocolate chip pancakes,and i only eat them for the chocolate chips. I also let frosted flakes sit in a bowl of milk,then i remove all of the frosted flakes from the bowl,and i drink the sugary milk at the bottom of the bowl.I do the same thing with cinamon toast crunch.
Sep 8 2009 7:55PM
The Last Day Of Summer
Today was the worst day of the year! I woke up this morning and i just noticed that it was the last day of Summer! But i diddent care. First i ate breakfast. Then i knocked for my freinds. Only 2 of my freinds came out because the other one had the Swine Flu. But luckily he had a co-freind and his co-freind came out. First we went to Forman Mills and we had shopping cart races. Then we played Hide and Seek. But one of my freinds was hiding outside the store. And thats cheating. So we stopped playing. Then we walked to a creek in some random forrest just outside Delaware. We followed the creek for about 5 hours until we found a tall brick railroad bridge. We walked allong side the tracks because walking on them is illeagel. We kept walking until we found a railroad crossing. We then looked down the road and saw a sighn that said Intterstate 1,000,000,000,000. That reminded us that we needed a car to drive home in because we had school the next day and it was geting late. So we spotted a car shop and we walked inside and they had a Geo Metro for sale but it was to pricey. So i walked home and i got my lil brothers brand new Big Wheele and i traded in to Cash For Klunkers for $1,000,000,000. Then i walked back to the car shop and i gave the clerk the money for the car. But we were just $1 short so we walked home. I was right outside my house and i found a dollar. o i walked back to the car shop and gave the clerk all of the money. And i got the car and i drove home. When i was home i diddent need the car anymore so i put a nuke inside the car and i blew the car up.
Sep 6 2009 8:50PM
This Day
Today was cool. First i ate breakfast. Then i went to WalMart to buy new boxers. I love pools in the winter time. Then i was in WalMart running around the store like a madman.Then we came home. When i came home my bro was playing voilent vid games like normal. Then a littel kid came knocking at my front door and he asked if i wanted to buy chocolates. I just kicked him in the groin and ran. Then i stared at a pic of Mile Cyrus for about 40 mins. Then i went and i knocked for my freinds. They came out. Then we hid in bushes and waited for an old lady to walk by. Then one walked by and we threw water balloons at her. Then we went to the forrest and made fun of angry wild animals. Then we did another prank call. We prank called the Statue Of Liberty and asked if they wanted to play B ball on the moon with us. They diddent want to come. But we walked to the moon and played B ball. Then it got boring. So we went accros the street and sat on a bench for about 7 hours. Then we walked down the street to the corner shop i asked if they had any private jets on sale for $10.00. They did. So we flew across the street to the apartment complex. We rented a room for $500. Then we walked to the train station. We rode the train to my freinds backyard and we built snowmen. Then we hit them with baseball bats. Then we walked to Neptune. (The planet) There we found $2000 on the ground! We just left it there because we thought someone else may need it more than we did. Then we walked down the street to the train station. There we waited for about a few minutes for the train to come but it still diddent come. So we waited for some more time and the train arrived. Then we flew home. It was a fun day!
Sep 5 2009 1:16PM
The Day Of Rest
Today is a good day to rest because its a good day to rest. I like to go on my computer. Today i ate a bowl of frosted flakes. THERE GRRRRRRRREAT! XD. Then i knocked for my freinds. They came out. We threw rocks in my neighbors pool. Then we walked to Austrailia for about 2 minutes just to see what it looked like. Then we walked home. Then we did prank calls on my freinds cell. We prank called the corner shop and asked for a cruise to Mexico. Then we sat down and rested under a wooden bridge in the Black Forrest. We rested so much that we felt sleepy .So we did an activity that will make us feel more awake. So we threw water balloons off the Ampire State Building. It was all fun and games until we dropped one on to and old lady and we got arrested for life in prison. Then we went to the junkyard and we were teasing the guard dogs. Then a few junk yard employees spotted us and we ran. Then we went to the music shop and i asked for a mowhawk. And they asked why? And i said because Mr. T has one and he does music. (I think he does music) And they diddent give me one. By the time we got out of the music shop it was about 9:00pm. So we all went home. It was a very fun day!
Sep 4 2009 5:49PM
The Spider
Earlier today there was a spider in my house. It was this big. I was playing with it . But then my brother found me playing with it and he got mad because he HATES it when earlier today there was a spider in my house that was this big. Then i play with it. HE HATES IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS! So then i went up stairs and played some vid games and i ate some pizza and pie. Then i went downstairs and there it was. The spider was SMASHED all over the place! But i KNEW this was from my brother because he left the desert eagle laying on the table with his prints all over it! But i diddent let him get away with this one. I and i got a six pac and i was very strong! So now its payback time! I went up stairs and i told my mother he killed the spider. My brother was taken to court and was charged with murder and he went to jail for 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, years! Then when he comes out of jail he will be grounded for a week.
Sep 4 2009 4:19PM
Today
Today i ate breakfast. I played vid games . Then i chilled with my freinds under and overpass. Then i came home and i played more vid games. Then i went back to my freinds under the overpass. Then we went to the corner shop and i bought a little tinker toy that runs around in circles at about 100 MPH then blows up. My freind got a peice of gum. He blew a bubble. My other freind got a rock. Then we went to the music shop. I got Metalicas newest album. But i dont know what its called. Then we went to my freinds house and stayed in his closet for about 19 hours. Then we all went home. It was a fun day!
Sep 4 2009 4:09PM
Tarnels Blog
My name is Tarnel. Nice to meet yall. I come from Narnia. I like shootgun. My freind is Shaq. I like stop signs. My life is good. I like pizza and pie. My favorite brand of bread is family size.

 

Ass Crack's Friends Comments

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Kingpittbul
Aug 14 2010 5:34AM

Kissing is healthy. -Bananas are good for cramps.-Chicken soup actually makes you feel better. -Its true. Guys DO insult you if they like you. -Having someone rub your tummy when it hurts actually helps it. -89% of guys would want girls to make the first move. -Girls love it when Guys hug them from behind the waist.-Chocolate makes you feel better. -Girls love it when guys let them wear their hoodie or jacket. -Guys think its cute when you mess up. -A true friend will NEVER judge you. -There is only one guy who is worth your tears. -If you have a dream about someone, then that person went to sleep thinking about you. -More guys...than girls will read this.Everyone likes surprises. * Now make a wish. Wish really hard! Wish before reading on.You wish will be received tomorrow. Your wish will only come true if you forward this to at least ten people. If you post this on at least 10 pages (comments, status, etc.) your wish will come
<33 Emo! <33
Sep 5 2009 1:04AM

Heyy frann.
First comment. (:
<3 byee

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